England Expects
by Stephen Ratliff
Summary: She sits in the center seat, but she doesn't really want to be there


**England Expects...**

"England expects every man to do his duty."

- Admiral Horatio Nelson's signal before the battle of Trafalgar

**Captain's Personal Log**

_USS Indomitable_

Captain Lavina Nelson, commanding

Commencing Personal Log on receiving command of the Intrepid Class Starship _Indomitable _as my first posted command.

I really don't want this post. I'd like to curse Marrissa Picard, Jay Gordon and Chantilly Bourbon-Santana. They're why I've just been posted to my first command at the age of twenty-one. It was practically handed to me. They did so well in their assignments that I don't think the Admiralty is even considering age as a factor in assignments anymore.

It's really my father's fault. He retired as an Admiral, but he was Captain of the _Sojourner _when he set me on this course. I've never been close to Father. He was always so distant and every bit of attention I got from him was precious. I lived for ever drop of it. I was just twelve when he arrived in my room with the uniform and single rank pip. I had never told him that I wanted to be a Star Fleet Officer. I still don't, but I was so afraid that saying no would disappoint him, that I didn't say no.

I started at the helm, like most of the young Ensigns. I was a fair pilot, no where near good enough to go to fighter school like so many young Ensigns did. Our youthful reflexes tended to send us on that path. Still, I did my duty, just like any other officer. In due course, I was promoted to Lieutenant junior grade. I'm not sure if I really deserved it. I was just coasting along being a good daughter to my Father, the Captain.

Then, just as I turned fourteen, my father was promoted. I thought that was the end of my career in Star Fleet. Oh how I rejoiced! My duty was coming to an end and I might even be able to be a normal teenager again. I wanted to hang up my commission, set a course for Earth, and never don the red and black of command again. Then I had the poor luck to save my father's replacement's life. I didn't intend to do it, I was just trying to avoid the fire of the crazed officer. I knocked the new Captain out of the line of fire, and the resulting commendation has been haunting my career ever since.

So I ended up as Assistant Chief of Operations. After my Commanding Officer decided that depressurizing a cargo bay from the inside the bay was a good idea, I was promoted to his post and the rank of full Lieutenant, a position I managed to coast in for years. I was a much better Chief of Operations than I was a pilot. To tell the truth, I soon found myself having fun balancing the ship's resources and making sure that everything was perfect aboard ship. I could have stayed there for the rest of my career without an problem, and I wanted to.

Unfortunately for me, someone thought I'd make a good Second Officer for the ship. I think it was because of my unfortunate success in command when the bridge was isolated and the Romulans attacked. I beat off the attack, unlike the poor Lieutenant on the _Rutledge_, with minimal damage to the _Sojourner_. Suddenly I started seeing notations in my evaluations like "has a keen tactical mind." If that was really true, I wouldn't have just been blurting out my first thought as a command. Still, I did the duty to which I had been assigned, even if I quivered inside with mortal terror every time they left me in command of the bridge for that first year.

Then Captain Sharn chose me to be his First Officer on the _Nebraska_, promoting me to full Commander. The old fart was good, but darn right annoying. I really think I was chosen because of my age. I was the young brash athletic first officer to his old cautious sedentary captain. He said it was because of my "keen tactical mind" and organizational skills. He also liked the way I always seemed to convey an impression of confident acceptance. It came from long practice with my father.

I served as his First Officer for three years before he retired and they gave me this ship, on the strength of his recommendation. I really wished they hadn't. I really wish I'd never been promoted off the _Sojourner_. In fact I wish I'd never been promoted to at all. I never really wanted to be a Star Fleet Officer, much less a Captain, but I guess I'm stuck now. I expect I'll just do my duty until I can retire.

End Log.


End file.
